20 years ago today....

I lost my mother to cancer. I think of her every day but especially on Jan. 3 the day I like to call "Mom's Day" because it was the day she returned to her Heavenly Father. This year is different than the last 19 years because I was blessed with the title of Mother for the first time. The love I have for my mother and the love I have always felt from her are overwhelming and are the reason my desire to become one has been so strong over the 7 years that Craig and I have been married. Even though I was only 12 years old when she passed I learned a great deal from her on how to be the best Mom ever. She was the greatest example in my life and I continue to learn from her everyday.

She use to tell us when we were young, "After the Storm Comes the Rainbow". This is something that has always stuck with me and I know that when I reach certain points in my life during a time of trial that she sends me a rainbow to tell me that my storm is over. My older sister passed away 3 1/2 years ago and the day she died I looked into the sky and there was the biggest most gorgeous rainbow I had ever seen. I knew that my mother had sent that to me to let me know that my sister was okay and was with her now. My sister had a difficult life and was dealing with some health problems that were a struggle for her. I felt so much peace knowing that her storm was finally over and that she no longer felt the pain she had endured for so many years. And best of all she was with my mother again, lucky girl.

The most recent rainbow or I guess I should say rainbows came just a couple of days before Landon's birth mom contacted us. Craig and I had both had a dream the night before that our son was close to coming to our home and the next morning on my run I looked up over the mountains and saw a huge rainbow and then a smaller one just inside it. Craig and I believe that the big one came from my mother and the smaller one came from Landon to let us know our road to becoming parents was close to the end.

What an amazing mother I have and I also feel blessed with a wonderful step-mother who has been so willing to take care of my Dad until he can return to be with my mother again.

My new role as a mother has been wonderful, challenging at times but worth every sleepless night. I am learning every day new ways to be a better mother and a better wife. Some days it seems a challenge to succeed at both but I am lucky to have such a supportive husband who adores his son. Landon has such a sweet spirit, we have no doubt that he came from our Heavenly Father and that he is still very close to him. I think he still sees the spirits from Heaven as they watch over us and spend time in our home. It strengthens my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that our close friends and loved ones who have passed on are still with us and visit us from time to time.

Even though I wish my mother were here physically, I know she is here in spirit and is still very much part of my every day life. I appreciate this day to reflect on her example and to remember the greatest woman I have ever known. I love you MOM!